Why do you eat when you’re not hungry? Have you thought about it?
A friend was describing a person to me the other day and referred to her as someone who “just really loves her food!” I think we all love food. The majority of us anyway.
And so we use these phrases to let ourselves off the hook:
- “I can’t stop eating because I just really LOVE food”.
- “It’s not my fault I ate the whole box of chocolates, I just really LOVE food”.
- “I went back for seconds because well, I just really LOVE food”.
Not that there’s really a hook, per se. As adults we are all responsible for our own food consumption, whether it be a little or a lot, healthy or junky. But when we say phrases like that, it takes the responsibility off of us and puts it on the deliciousness of food! It’s the food’s fault for being so darn good.
I knew it.
So the question always is, why can’t I stop with just a little bit? Why do I have the urge to return to that good taste over and over?
It really isn’t WHAT you eat that is the issue. I believe that the deeper work is to look at WHY you eat.
The work that many of us have is to figure out the WHY of eating, it’s not the what. Why do I come home after my day and raid the pantry of all the cheese and crackers? Maybe it’s because I didn’t pack a suitable lunch to sustain me, with complex carbs, healthy fat and lean protein. But, maybe it’s because I came around a corner just before I was about to leave the office and overheard two women I thought were friends, talking about me and I felt completely belittled. Wow. Stop to consider what a powerful emotion might arise from feeling belittled. Belittled says that you are not good enough. You don’t fit in. You are not what we want or like.
Can you feel the heaviness of that?
So what’s the story you tell yourself about what those two women were saying? That I’m not good enough, I don’t fit in, I am not what people want or like. And just like that shame covers us like a blanket and all we want to do is rush home into the pantry and fill our face with cheese and crackers, or drink a bottle of wine, or eat a box of chocolates.
The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They can change us. Furthermore, when we live our lives in auto-pilot, we are not even cognizant of the power that these stories have to change our behaviour.
I want you to stop and do something today. I want you to begin with being mindful about your reactions. Remember, anytime that you have an intense reaction/response, it means that something is going on inside of you. Also, it means that you are telling yourself a story about what that circumstance means. Start by being curious about that story and about your actions that follow.
And then cover that shit with compassion. Compassion is the anti-dote to shame. Have compassion for your reactions/responses/behaviours.
That’s where the journey starts.
